The Promise to My Mother
我妈走的那个晚上，外面下着春天的雨。
My mom leave (POSS) that (M) evening, outside fall (CONT) spring (POSS) rain.
The night my mother died, a spring rain was falling outside.
病房里只有我一个人坐在她的床边。
Hospital room inside only have I one (M) person sit at her (POSS) bed side.
I was the only one in the hospital room, sitting at her bedside.
她已经很瘦了，手像纸一样轻。
She already very thin (PERF), hand like paper one-way light.
She had grown very thin. Her hand was as light as paper.
“小川，”她忽然睁开眼睛，看着我，“答应妈妈一件事。”
"Xiao Chuan," she suddenly open eye, look (CONT) me, "promise mom one (M) matter."
“Xiao Chuan,” she said suddenly, opening her eyes and looking at me. “Promise me one thing.”
我握住她的手：“你说。”
I hold her (POSS) hand: "You speak."
I held her hand. “Tell me.”
“你先答应。我才告诉你。”她的声音很轻。
"You first promise. I only tell you." Her (POSS) voice very light.
“Promise first. Then I'll tell you.” Her voice was very soft.
“好。我答应。”
"Good. I promise."
“Okay. I promise.”
她笑了一下，像我小时候她笑的样子。
She laugh (PERF) one bit, like my small time she laugh (POSS) appearance.
She smiled, the same way she had smiled when I was little.
“别用一辈子的时间，去让妈妈骄傲。”
"Don't use one lifetime (POSS) time, go let mom proud."
“Don't spend your whole life trying to make me proud.”
我没听明白。我以为她是说，她已经很骄傲了。
I not listen understand. I think she is say, she already very proud (PERF).
I didn't understand. I thought she meant she was already proud of me.
“妈，我会让你骄傲的，”我说，“你别担心。”
"Mom, I will let you proud (POSS)," I say, "you don't worry."
“Mom, I'll make you proud,” I said. “Don't worry.”
她又笑了。这一次笑得有点儿苦。
She again laugh (PERF). This one time laugh (DEG) have-bit bitter.
She smiled again. This time the smile was a little sad.
“你答应了。”她说。然后她闭上了眼睛。
"You promise (PERF)." She say. Then she close-up (PERF) eye.
“You promised,” she said. Then she closed her eyes.
她那天晚上走了。
She that day evening leave (PERF).
She passed away that night.
她走以后的五年，我做的每一件事，都是为了她。
She leave after (POSS) five year, I do (POSS) every one (M) matter, all is in-order-to her.
For five years after she was gone, everything I did was for her.
我去了大城市，进了一家好公司。
I go (PERF) big city, enter (PERF) one (M) good company.
I moved to a big city and got into a good company.
我加班加得最多，谁说我的方向不对，我都不听。
I work-overtime work (DEG) most, who say my (POSS) direction not right, I all not listen.
I worked the longest hours; if anyone told me I was on the wrong path, I didn't listen.
我心里一直有一句话：“看着我，妈。你看着我。”
I heart inside continuously have one (M) word: "Look (CONT) me, mom. You look (CONT) me."
All the time, in my head, I was saying: “Watch me, Mom. You watch me.”
三十二岁那年，我被公司辞了。
Thirty-two years-old that year, I (PASS) company let-go (PERF).
At thirty-two, the company let me go.
我那时已经结了婚，孩子刚出生。
I that time already get-married (PERF), child just born.
I was married by then, with a newborn.
我没敢告诉妻子真话。每天还是早上出门，晚上回家。
I not dare tell wife true word. Every day still is morning out-door, evening return home.
I didn't dare tell my wife the truth. I still left in the morning and came home at night.
白天我坐在公园里，看那些跟我妈年纪差不多的老人。
Daytime I sit at park inside, look those with my mom age different-not-much (POSS) old person.
By day I sat in the park, looking at old people about my mother's age.
三十五岁，我做了一家小生意，亏了所有的钱。
Thirty-five years-old, I do (PERF) one (M) small business, lose (PERF) all (POSS) money.
At thirty-five, I tried a small business. I lost every yuan I had.
三十八岁，我换了城市，从头再来。
Thirty-eight years-old, I change (PERF) city, from head again come.
At thirty-eight, I changed cities and started over.
每一次失败，我都听见心里那句：“看着我，妈。”
Every one time fail, I all hear heart inside that sentence: "Look (CONT) me, mom."
Every time I failed, I still heard that voice in my head: “Watch me, Mom.”
可是慢慢的，我累了。
But slowly (POSS), I tired (PERF).
But slowly, I got tired.
四十二岁的一个夜里，我突然坐起来。
Forty-two-year-old one (M) night inside, I suddenly sit-up.
One night at forty-two, I suddenly sat up in bed.
我妻子问：“你怎么了？”
I wife ask: "You how PERF?"
My wife asked, “What's wrong?”
我说：“我妈那句话——我以前听错了。”
I say: "My mom that (M) word — I previously listen wrong (PERF)."
I said, “What my mother told me — I'd been hearing it wrong all this time.”
她说的不是“你要更努力”。
She say (POSS) not is "you must more hard-work."
She wasn't saying “try harder.”
她说的是：别活在我眼里。
She say (POSS) is: don't live at my eye inside.
She was saying: don't live inside my eyes.
别用一辈子，做一个能让我骄傲的人。
Don't use one lifetime, do one (M) can let me proud (POSS) person.
Don't spend your whole life being the kind of person I would be proud of.
做一个你自己能活得安心的人。
Do one (M) you self can live (DEG) peaceful (POSS) person.
Be a person you yourself can live with in peace.
那一年，我开始重新过日子。
That one year, I begin re-new pass day-child.
That year, I started living differently.
我不再跟人比工资，不再想自己是不是有名。
I not again with person compare salary, not again think self is not is have name.
I stopped comparing salaries. I stopped wondering whether I was someone.
我开始跟我儿子一起做晚饭，跟他讲我小时候的事。
I begin with my son together make dinner, with him tell my small time (POSS) matter.
I started making dinner with my son, telling him stories from when I was little.
今年春天，我回到老家。
This year spring, I return to old home.
This spring, I went back to my old home.
我没去别的地方，只去了我妈以前住过的那个小院子。
I not go other (POSS) place, only go (PERF) my mom previously live (EXP) (POSS) that (M) small courtyard.
I didn't go anywhere else. I just went to the little courtyard house where my mother used to live.
院子里现在没人住。门关着，门口长了草。
Courtyard inside now not have person live. Door close (CONT), doorway grow (PERF) grass.
No one lived there now. The door was shut and grass had grown up at the threshold.
我站在门口，把头靠在门上。
I stand at doorway, (BA) head lean at door on.
I stood at the door and rested my head against it.
“妈，”我轻轻地说，“我用了二十年才听懂你那句话。”
"Mom," I lightly (ADV) say, "I use (PERF) twenty year only listen-understand your that (M) word."
“Mom,” I said softly, “it took me twenty years to hear what you really said.”
“可是我没忘。我答应过你。”
"But I not forget. I promise (EXP) you."
“But I didn't forget. I promised you.”
风从院子里吹过来，吹到我脸上。很暖。
Wind from courtyard inside blow over-come, blow to my face on. Very warm.
A wind came out from the courtyard and brushed my face. It was warm.
我想，她大概听见了。
I think, she probably listen-see (PERF).
I think, somehow, she heard.