The Architect of Our Marriage
他们结婚已经三十二年了。
They marry already thirty-two year (PERF).
They had been married thirty-two years.
那天晚饭以后，王惠把一封信放在厨房的餐桌上。
That day evening-meal after, Wang-Hui (BA) one (M) letter place at kitchen (POSS) meal-table on.
After dinner, Wang Hui placed an envelope on the kitchen table.
“今天单位收到的。”她说，“是建文寄来的。”
"Today work-unit receive (POSS). " She say, "Is Jian-Wen send-come (POSS)."
"It came to the office today," she said. "From Jianwen."
丈夫陈安从柜子里拿出两个杯子，倒上茶。
Husband Chen-An from cabinet inside take-out two (M) cup, pour up tea.
Her husband Chen An took two cups from the cabinet and poured tea.
“建文找你做什么？”他问。
"Jian-Wen find you do what?" He ask.
"What does Jianwen want?" he asked.
“他们要建一个新城区，叫我做主设计师。”
"They want build one (M) new city-area, call me do main design-master."
"They're building a new district. They want me as lead architect."
“多少年？”
"How-much year?"
"How long?"
“整整十年。”
"Whole-whole ten year."
"Ten years."
厨房里安静了一下。
Kitchen inside quiet (PERF) one-down.
The kitchen went still for a moment.
陈安把茶放在她面前，自己也坐了下来。
Chen-An (BA) tea place at her face-front, self also sit (PERF) down-come.
Chen An set the tea before her and sat down himself.
灯有一点黄，照着两张已经不年轻的脸。
Lamp have one-bit yellow, shine (CONT) two (M) already not young (POSS) face.
The light was a little yellow on two faces no longer young.
“你想做。”他说，不是问句。
"You want do." He say, not is question-sentence.
"You want it," he said. Not a question.
“我不知道。”
"I not know."
"I don't know."
“你十年没接过这么大的项目了。”
"You ten year not receive (EXP) so big (POSS) project (PERF)."
"You haven't taken on a project this big in ten years."
“是的。”
"Yes."
"No."
他们都不说话了。
They all not speak (PERF).
Neither spoke.
外面起了点风，吹动了窗台上一盆小植物。
Outside rise (PERF) one-bit wind, blow-move (PERF) window-sill on one (M) small plant.
Outside, a breeze rose, stirring a small plant on the windowsill.
陈安看着自己的手，过了一会儿才开口：
Chen-An look (CONT) self (POSS) hand, pass (PERF) one while only open-mouth:
Chen An looked at his hands. After a while he spoke.
“惠，我想问你一件事。我们结婚那年，你也接到过一个像这样的机会，对不对？”
"Hui, I want ask you one (M) matter. We marry that year, you also receive-arrive (EXP) one (M) like this (POSS) opportunity, right not right?"
"Hui — there's something I want to ask. The year we got married, you also had an offer like this, didn't you?"
她抬起头：“你怎么知道？”
She lift-up head: "You how know?"
She looked up. "How did you know?"
“我那时候去你单位找你，听到主任在跟你说话。”
"I that time go your work-unit find you, hear-arrive director at with you speak-words."
"I went to your office that day and heard the director talking to you."
“我在门外听了十分钟。”
"I at door-outside listen (PERF) ten minute."
"I stood outside the door for ten minutes."
她沉默了。
She silent (PERF).
She was silent.
“你为什么没接？”他问。
"You for what not receive?" He ask.
"Why didn't you take it?" he asked.
“因为我刚答应跟你结婚。”
"Because I just-now agree with you marry."
"Because I'd just said yes to you."
“你后悔过吗？”
"You regret (EXP) (Q)?"
"Have you regretted it?"
她想了很久才说：“有几年我很想做那个项目，可我没有告诉你。”
She think (PERF) very long only say: "Have several year I very want do that (M) project, but I not have tell you."
She thought a long time. "For a few years, I wanted that project very much. I never told you."
“现在呢？”
"Now (Q)?"
"And now?"
“现在我有时候想，如果我做了，我会不会变成另一个人。”
"Now I have-time think, if I do (PERF), I will not will change-become another (M) person."
"Now I sometimes wonder if I would have become someone else.
“可是我也不知道那个另一个人是不是更好。”
"But I also not know that (M) another (M) person is not is more good."
"And I don't know if that other person would have been any better."
他点点头。
He nod-nod head.
He nodded.
她也想问他一些话。她想了想，决定问出来。
She also want ask him some word. She think (PERF) think, decide ask out-come.
She had questions of her own. After a moment she decided to ask them.
“你呢？这些年你也放弃了一些东西吧？”
"You (Q)? These year you also give-up (PERF) some thing (SUGG)?"
"And you? You've given up things too, haven't you?"
陈安看着茶杯。
Chen-An look (CONT) tea-cup.
Chen An looked at his cup.
“我年轻的时候想去外地教书。”
"I young (POSS) time want go outside-place teach-book."
"When I was young, I wanted to teach somewhere far away."
“你妈妈那时候病了。我就留下来。”
"Your mom that time sick (PERF). I just stay-down-come."
"Your mother was ill then. I stayed."
“你从来没说过。”
"You from-come not speak (EXP)."
"You never told me."
“说出来，你会一直心里难受。”
"Speak-out come, you will continuously heart inside hard-feel."
"If I'd told you, it would have weighed on you for years."
她伸手过去，握住了他的手。
She extend-hand pass-go, grasp-firm (PERF) his (POSS) hand.
She reached out and took his hand.
他握得很紧。
He grasp (DE) very tight.
He gripped it tightly.
“我们各自都藏过一些事。”她说。
"We each-self all hide (EXP) some matter." She say.
"We've each hidden a few things," she said.
“可我们也都留下来了。”他说。
"But we also all stay-down-come (PERF)." He say.
"But we both stayed," he said.
茶已经凉了。她又起身倒了两杯热的。
Tea already cool (PERF). She again rise-body pour (PERF) two cup hot (POSS).
The tea had cooled. She stood and poured two more, hot.
她坐下来，看着他。
She sit-down come, look (CONT) him.
She sat down and looked at him.
“你想我接吗？”
"You want me receive (Q)?"
"Do you want me to take it?"
“你想我说什么？”
"You want me say what?"
"What do you want me to say?"
“真话。”
"True word."
"The truth."
他想了很久。
He think (PERF) very long.
He thought for a long time.
“我想，我有点怕。”
"I think, I have-bit afraid."
"I think — I'm a little afraid."
“可我也想看到你做你想做的事。”
"But I also want see-arrive you do you want do (POSS) matter."
"But I want to see you doing what you want to do."
她笑了一下，眼睛却湿了。
She laugh (PERF) one-down, eye but wet (PERF).
She smiled, and her eyes grew wet.
“三十二年，我们一直以为是日子在推着我们走。”
"Thirty-two year, we continuously think is day at push (CONT) us walk."
"For thirty-two years, we thought the days were pushing us along."
“可你刚才那句话——是我们自己说的。”
"But you just-now that (M) word — is we self speak (POSS)."
"But what you just said — that was us, speaking for ourselves."
他点点头：“我们其实一直都在自己设计自己的生活。”
He nod-nod head: "We actually continuously all at self design self (POSS) life."
He nodded. "We've been designing our own life all along."
“只是没承认。”
"Only not admit."
"We just never admitted it."
她拿起那封信，又轻轻放下。
She pick-up that (M) letter, again lightly place-down.
She picked up the envelope, then set it gently back down.
“今晚我不想决定这个项目。”
"This-evening I not want decide this (M) project."
"I don't want to decide about the project tonight."
“好。”
"Good."
"All right."
“可是有一件事我现在就想决定。”
"But have one (M) matter I now just want decide."
"But there is one thing I want to decide now."
“嗯？”
"Mm?"
"Yes?"
“以后，我们不再各自藏话。”
"After-now, we not again each-self hide word."
"From now on — no more hidden words between us."
“想做的，想怕的，都说。”
"Want do (POSS), want afraid (POSS), all say."
"What we want, what we fear. All of it."
陈安看着她，过了一会儿轻轻地说：“好。”
Chen-An look (CONT) her, pass (PERF) one while lightly say: "Good."
Chen An looked at her. After a moment he said, softly, "Yes."
灯黄黄的，茶气慢慢升上来。
Lamp yellow-yellow (POSS), tea-air slowly rise up-come.
The lamp glowed yellow. Steam rose from the cups.
他们没动那封信，也没说项目的事。
They not move that (M) letter, also not speak project (POSS) matter.
They didn't touch the letter, didn't return to the project.
可两个人都知道，从这个晚上起，他们的婚姻有了一个新的样子。
But two (M) person all know, from this (M) evening start, they (POSS) marriage have (PERF) one (M) new (POSS) appearance.
But they both knew that, from this night on, their marriage had taken on a new shape.
不再是被生活推着走的两个人。
Not again is (PASS) life push (CONT) walk (POSS) two (M) person.
No longer two people pushed along by life.
而是这一个家——这一段日子——的两位设计者。
Rather is this one (M) home — this one (M) period day — (POSS) two (M) design-person.
But the two architects of this house, of this stretch of years.