The Archive of Untold Lives
我在“未曾活过的档案馆”工作，已经七年了。
I at "not-yet live (PERF) (POSS) archive-hall" work, already seven year (PERF).
I have worked at the Archive of Untold Lives for seven years now.
这个机构属于政府，地址不对外公开。
This (M) institution belong-to government, address not toward-outside open.
The institution is part of the government, and its address is not made public.
我的工作是陪客户看他们没有过的人生。
My (POSS) job is accompany client look their not-have (PERF, POSS) human-life.
My job is to sit with clients while they look at the lives they never lived.
我们的机器读一个人过去所有的决定。
Our (POSS) machine read one (M) person past all (POSS) decision.
Our machines read every decision a person has ever made.
然后它算出，如果他们换一个决定，后来会发生什么。
Then it calculate-out, if they change one (M) decision, after will happen what.
Then they calculate what would have happened had any one decision gone the other way.
结果是一段画面，像电影一样安静地放着。
Result is one (M, segment) image, like film one-kind quietly play (CONT).
The result is a sequence of images that plays quietly, like a film.
客户坐在一把软软的椅子上，戴上眼镜，按下绿色的键。
Client sit at one (M) soft-soft (POSS) chair top, wear-on glasses, press-down green (POSS) key.
The client sits in a soft chair, puts on the glasses, and presses the green key.
我坐在他们旁边，看着屏幕上他们的脸。
I sit at they side, watch (CONT) screen top their (POSS) face.
I sit beside them, watching their face on the screen.
有些人哭，有些人笑，有些人一句话也不说。
Have some people cry, have some people laugh, have some people one (M) sentence also not speak.
Some clients cry, some laugh, some do not say a word.
规定写得很清楚：每个公民一生只能看一次。
Regulation write (DE) very clear: every (M) citizen one-life only can see one time.
The rule is very clear: each citizen may view their archive only once in their life.
今天来的客户是一位非常有名的女作家。
Today come (POSS) client is one (M) very famous (POSS) female author.
Today's client was a very famous female author.
她姓林，写过几十本书，得过许多大奖。
She surnamed Lin, write (PERF) several-ten (M) book, win (PERF) many big-prize.
Her surname was Lin; she had written dozens of books and won many great prizes.
她六十多岁，头发已经全白，眼睛却像年轻人一样亮。
She sixty-many year-old, hair already entirely white, eyes however like young-person one-kind bright.
She was past sixty, her hair already entirely white, yet her eyes were as bright as a young person's.
“我准备好了。”她坐下来，轻声说。
"I prepare-well (PERF)." She sit-down-come, light-voice say.
“I'm ready,” she said softly as she sat down.
我把档案打开，问她想看哪一个决定。
I (BA) archive open, ask her want look which (M) decision.
I opened her archive and asked which decision she wanted to see.
她说：“我想看，如果二十二岁那年，我握住了他的手，后来是什么样子。”
She say: "I want see, if twenty-two year-old that year, I grasp-hold (PERF) his (POSS) hand, after is what appearance."
She said, “I want to see what would have happened if, at twenty-two, I had taken his hand.”
我点了点头，没问他是谁——客户的秘密属于他们自己。
I nod (PERF) nod head, not ask he is who—client (POSS) secret belong-to they self.
I nodded and did not ask who he was — a client's secrets are their own.
机器开始工作，屏幕慢慢亮起来。
Machine begin work, screen slowly bright-up-come.
The machine began its work, and the screen slowly grew bright.
画面里，年轻的她正站在一个旧火车站。
Image inside, young (POSS) she just stand at one (M) old train-station.
On the screen, the young version of her was standing in an old train station.
一个高高的男人对她伸出手。
One (M) tall-tall (POSS) man toward her extend-out hand.
A tall man held out his hand to her.
这一次，她握住了。
This one time, she grasp-hold (PERF).
This time, she took it.
他们一起上了火车，去了南方一个安静的小城。
They together board (PERF) train, go (PERF) south one (M) quiet (POSS) small-city.
They boarded the train together and went to a quiet southern town.
他们结了婚，在一条河边住了下来。
They tie (PERF) marriage, at one (M) river side live (PERF) down-come.
They married, and settled by a river.
她没有写出那些有名的书。
She not-have write-out those famous (POSS) book.
She never wrote those famous books.
她写了几本很薄的诗集，只有几百个读者。
She write (PERF) several (M) very thin (POSS) poetry-collection, only have several-hundred (M) reader.
She wrote a few slim books of poetry, with only a few hundred readers.
她生了两个孩子，一个女儿，一个儿子。
She bear (PERF) two (M) child, one (M) daughter, one (M) son.
She had two children, a daughter and a son.
屏幕上的她笑得很多，比现实中的她笑得多得多。
Screen top (POSS) she laugh (DE) very much, compare reality middle (POSS) she laugh (DE) much (DE) much.
On the screen she laughed often — far more often than the woman beside me ever had.
我看了一眼林女士，她的手紧紧握着椅子的扶手。
I look (PERF) one eye Lin lady, her (POSS) hand tight-tight grasp (CONT) chair (POSS) support-hand.
I glanced at Ms. Lin; her hands gripped the armrests tightly.
时间到了，机器要自动关掉。
Time arrive (PERF), machine will automatically close-off.
Time was up; the machine would shut down on its own.
“能不能再看一会儿？”她轻轻地问。
"Can-not-can again look one moment?" She lightly ask.
“Can I watch a little longer?” she asked quietly.
规定不允许，但我看了她的眼睛。
Regulation not allow, but I look (PERF) her (POSS) eye.
The rules did not allow it — but I looked into her eyes.
我按下了延长的键，告诉自己：今天破一次规定。
I press-down (PERF) extend (POSS) key, tell self: today break one time regulation.
I pressed the extend key, telling myself: today I will break the rules once.
屏幕上，他们一起变老。
Screen top, they together change-old.
On the screen, they grew old together.
他先走了。她坐在窗前，写着一首没写完的诗。
He first leave (PERF). She sit at window front, write (CONT) one (M) head not write-finish (POSS) poem.
He died first. She sat by the window, writing a poem she would never finish.
画面慢慢暗下来，最后是一片柔和的灰色。
Image slow-slow dim-down-come, last is one (M, sheet) soft (POSS) gray-color.
The image slowly darkened, ending in a soft gray.
林女士摘下眼镜，眼眶红红的。
Lin lady remove-down glasses, eye-rim red-red (POSS).
Ms. Lin took off the glasses, her eyes rimmed with red.
她对我说：“谢谢你让我多看了那几年。”
She toward me say: "Thank you let me more see (PERF) those several year."
She said to me, “Thank you for letting me see those extra years.”
“没什么。”我低头收起线。
"Not-have what." I low-head collect-up wire.
“It was nothing,” I said, lowering my head and gathering up the wires.
她在门口停下来，回头看了我一眼。
She at door-mouth stop-down-come, turn-head look (PERF) me one eye.
She paused at the door and looked back at me.
“你呢？你看过自己的吗？”
"You then? You look (PERF) self (POSS) (PARTICLE)?"
“And you? Have you ever seen your own?”
我笑了一下，没回答。
I laugh (PERF) one (M), not answer.
I smiled but did not answer.
她走了以后，馆里只剩下我一个人。
She leave (PERF) after, hall-inside only remain-down me one (M) person.
After she left, I was alone in the archive.
窗外天已经黑了，机器的小灯还在轻轻地亮。
Window outside sky already black (PERF), machine (POSS) small lamp still at lightly bright.
Outside the windows the sky had darkened, and the small lamps on the machines still glowed softly.
我突然发现：在这里工作七年，我从来没有看过自己的档案。
I suddenly discover: at here work seven year, I from-come not-have look (PERF) self (POSS) archive.
I suddenly realized: in seven years of working here, I had never opened my own archive.
别人的人生我看了几千个，自己的，一次也没有。
Other-person (POSS) human-life I look (PERF) several-thousand (M), self (POSS), one time also not-have.
I had watched thousands of other people's lives, but my own, not once.
我走到自己的位子，打开了机器。
I walk to self (POSS) seat, open (PERF) machine.
I walked to my own station and switched on the machine.
屏幕亮起来，问我：要查哪一年？
Screen bright-up-come, ask me: want search which one year?
The screen lit up and asked: which year shall we search?
我手放在键上，没有按下去。
I hand place at key top, not-have press-down-go.
My hand rested on the keys, but I did not press.
我能想到那些没走的路，那些没说出的话。
I can think-arrive those not walk (POSS) road, those not speak-out (POSS) word.
I could think of the roads I had not taken, the words I had not said.
我也能想到，如果我看了，回去以后，我还能不能好好工作。
I also can think-arrive, if I look (PERF), return-go after, I still can-not-can well work.
And I could imagine, too, that after watching, I might not be able to do this job well anymore.
我想了很久。
I think (PERF) very long.
I thought for a long time.
外面起风了，窗户发出很轻的声音。
Outside rise wind (PERF), window emit very light (POSS) sound.
Outside the wind picked up, and the windows made a faint sound.
我把手从键上拿开。
I (BA) hand from key top take-away.
I lifted my hand from the keys.
我对屏幕轻轻地说：“今天不看。”
I toward screen lightly say: "Today not look."
I said softly to the screen, “Not today.”
我关掉机器，灯一个一个灭下去。
I close-off machine, lamp one (M) one (M) extinguish-down-go.
I turned off the machine, and the lamps went out one by one.
走出大门的时候，我感觉自己的人生还在我手里。
Walk-out big-door (POSS) time, I feel self (POSS) human-life still at my hand inside.
As I walked out of the great doors, I felt my own life was still in my hands.
我决定，永远不去看它。
I decide, forever not go look it.
I decided I would never look at it.
有些路，留下来，比走过去更好。
Have some road, leave-down-come, compare walk-pass-go more good.
Some roads are better left untaken than walked.